"Oh, You Shouldn't Have!" | Katherine Lefevre

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully (Romans 12: 6-8, NIV).

It was March 2020. The world had just shut down. My brother and I were turning 18. I was lost in thought when, “Can you see it?” brought me back to reality.

My grandfather was holding a skirt up to the camera. I could indeed see it.

Ordinarily, my grandparents would have come over to give me and my brother our birthday gifts, but Covid had relegated us to Skype.

Our grandparents had opted for a show and tell, opening our gifts on camera in front of us. As I stared at the skirt, reasoning that the lighting was doing it a grave disservice, my grandmother explained, “As soon as I saw it, I just knew it was you. It was expensive, but I figured you only turn 18 once.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t have!” I said, hoping she couldn’t tell just how much I meant it.

“I hope you’ll be able to come over soon. I know you’ll want to wear it as soon as possible.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like it’s going anywhere.” I reassured her, not exactly relishing the day I would have to wear it.

It was times like these I wondered if my grandparents knew me at all. Of all the gifts, why this?

I had thought that many times over the years. When I got the bright red sweater with little nutcrackers all over it. Or the time I got the pants with little horses all over them.

Or the time God told me “no” when all I wanted to hear was “yes.”

God knows me better than anyone else does. And yet, somehow, I always like his gifts least. I usually find myself asking Him, “Are you sure about this?” as though the God of the universe might have made an oopsie.

For some reason, I always thought that if He gave me a gift, I would know it. That it would be easy for me to accept it. I thought if He gave me a spiritual gift, it would be easy for me to use it.

Instead, I found that what I wanted blinded me to what I had. I realized that receiving His gifts is one of the single greatest acts of faith anyone could ever take. I learned that using the gifts He has given me requires even greater dependence on Him.

I discovered that His gifts don’t always feel like gifts at all. He isn’t in the habit of giving us what we want, but He always gives us what we need.

Often, I find myself thinking, “Oh, you shouldn’t have” in one breath, while thanking Him with the next.